It was one of those chairs with a sinking feeling.Students sank down low when they visited a college professor of mine and sat in the visitor’s chair in his office. In stark contrast, his chair was rather high, causing students to strain their neck a bit as they looked up at him. I felt the nature of those chairs was strategic on the professor’s part. It gave you a physical lesson in who was the teacher and who was the student.

In our relationships it is tempting to try to do what the professor did with the chairs: elevate ourselves above others. The Bible, however, calls us to act quite differently. “Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10). “… do not take the place of honor … take the lowest place” (Luke 14:8, 10).

Pastor Tim Keller was a successful pastor, popular speaker and author. When he went to be with the Lord last year, I read a number of the reflections people had about him. A common theme was Keller’s humility. He treated people with respect, never belittling them. Even though he was so smart and accomplished, he didn’t act like he was above others.

The apostle Paul was given the role of teacher and leader. But he described what he had received as “the authority the Lord gave me for building you up, not for tearing you down” (2 Corinthians 13:10).

It would be helpful to have that kind of mindset in all of our relationships. “I have been brought into relationship with this person to build them up, not to tear them down.” In our relationships we are called to be builders, not the demolition crew.

We are not to worry about getting proper recognition. We are not to strive to get the higher seat and the most praise. Instead we humbly take the lower seat of a servant. We strive to lift others up. We do so because Christ did that for us. In His final leadership lesson with His disciples He wrapped a towel around His waist, lowered Himself and washed His disciples’ feet. “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you” (John 13:14-15).

In this social media age there is much temptation and opportunity to promote self and declare to the world what we have done. Our example, though, is not the world as it keeps striving to assert superiority over others. Our example is Jesus, who humbly serves undeserving sinners like us. He took the lowest position of the cross in order to lift us up. He lifts us out of slavery to sin. He lifts us into forgiveness and freedom. He lifts us to the great honor of being children of God by faith in Christ.